Uptown Bourgeois is an art space for the creative works of freelance writer, editor, author, and content creator Jefferey Spivey.
Steps to Take Before Leaving Your Dog At Home Alone

Steps to Take Before Leaving Your Dog At Home Alone

1.    Take Flower to the backyard so she can handle her “business”. You don’t want to come home to the smell of dried dog pee in the carpet.

2.    Move kitchen rags away from counter edges so your dirty towels don’t become her breakfast.

3.    Place food in her bowl in the hopes that you can run out without her noticing. (Maybe her chewing will drown out the sound of the garage door opening and closing…)

4.    Speak to her in an annoyingly sweet voice when she runs after you.

5.    Toughen up and close the laundry room door, so you can sneak out to the garage without her seeing you – you need to instill some discipline.

6.    Frown with watery eyes as you listen to her scratch at the door.

7.    Sentimental moment quickly evaporates as she opens the door like a human.

8.    Realize she’ll probably stay in the laundry room awaiting your return. You decide to place her chew toys there so she won’t get bored but realize you can’t find her bone. Spend the next 10 minutes looking for it, realize you’re now late, and call off the search.

9.    Set the alarm and walk out to the garage, in plain view, like a boss.

10.  Listen as she scratches at the door; let out a hesitant sigh of relief – you’re confident she can’t open the garage door with her 1-year-old paws, right?

11.  Drive away wondering what mess you’ll come home to. 

A New Role for Octavia Spencer - The Color Brief January 17

A New Role for Octavia Spencer - The Color Brief January 17

Brief Thoughts on Kevin Hart

Brief Thoughts on Kevin Hart