Uptown Bourgeois is an art space for the creative works of freelance writer, editor, author, and content creator Jefferey Spivey.

Don't Take The F-ing FDR

Hey there, you’re my Gett driver from last night, right?  I’m not very fond of you or the “service” you provided me and my boyfriend last night.  And I’m very happy to explain why.

Let me start off by explaining that I am not a tourist.  I’ve lived in Manhattan for over 8 years, and I pride myself on my knowledge of how to get around the city in efficient and cost-effective ways.  Though you are a driver for a living, the same cannot be said for you.  I know what you were thinking when you picked us up.  It was almost midnight.  You thought we had probably had a few drinks and would be too distracted by our conversation to notice the ridiculously out of the way route you were taking to get us home.  What kind of driver picks someone up in Chelsea and tries to take them to the Financial District via the FDR? Are you new to New York? Or are you just interested in trying to rack up the highest fare ever? In the time it would’ve taken you to get to the FDR, we could’ve been halfway home.

But I guess you understood my dissatisfaction with your poor decision making skills when I asked you not to take the FDR.  You foolishly responded by telling me you would not take the local streets.  You were concerned about the traffic and you wanted to do us a favor by getting us home as quickly as possible.  If you wanted to get me home as quickly as possible, you wouldn’t be driving us all the way across the fucking city to get us to a highway that’s the slowest possible route to our apartment.

I don’t usually yell at people or start confrontations but you really upset me.  At first I was confused.  We essentially hired you to drive us home, but you wouldn’t drive us there the way we wanted to go.  This is very strange behavior for someone whose performance is rated by every passenger.  Your livelihood depends on the feedback you get from your riders.  So why were you being so damn difficult?  After my confusion, I transitioned into my condescending phase.  This was when I told you how I took the local streets home via 5th ave and Broadway at this same time almost every week and never had an issue.  This is also when I told you that regardless of which way had traffic or not, you would still get paid.  You then replied that you weren’t making any money.  This perplexed me because I’m pretty sure you’re not a volunteer for Gett, and you were being paid for your service.

Then I reached my rage stage.  When you continued to argue with me about which way was best, I screamed at you “Do not take me to the fucking FDR!”.  I was tired and ready to go home.  And you were essentially ruining what had been a really fun night.  I wanted you to understand that I was paying for your service, and you needed to oblige me.  Any further argument with me at this stage would have been futile.  You then took a right onto 5th ave and proceeded down a traffic-free route to our destination address.

I don’t think of you as a servant, so please don’t get me wrong.  I work in a service industry too, and I understand that meeting the demands of many customers can be grating and quite difficult at times.  But your behavior was unacceptable.  Other than a bigger fare, what did you stand to gain from taking the FDR and prolonging our argument? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

So hopefully, the next time one of your riders has a simple request for a preferred route, you’ll just honor it.  Even if you don’t want to drive that route, just take it.  Because you’re not paying for the service.  The rider is.

Your level of service was a very convincing ad campaign for Uber, which is normally my app-based car service of choice.  Best of luck with your future riders.  That is, if you get any additional riders after the one-star rating we just gave you. 

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