Misogyny. Sexism. Racism. Nudity. No, this isn't the latest 50 Shades of Grey novel. Blog comment boards are often nothing more than a cesspool of negativity and cowardice. They're filled with people who adopt a bodybuilder's bravado all while hiding behind the safety of their computer screens. Commenters spew hate and filth online that they'd never have the guts to say IRL. I ventured down the comment board rabbit hole before to read what the fellas were saying about Jaden Smith's gender bending Louis Vuitton ad a little over a month ago. Now, after only passively sharing my opinion about Beyoncé's "Formation" through shared clips and article links on social media, I'm joining the conversation the only way I know how. By making fun of stupid people. See below for the menswear blogosphere's 10 most ignorant responses to Beyoncé's "Formation" video release and subsequent Super Bowl performance...and my responses.
1. "Boring song-predictable visuals. Want crazy in love back pls."
If you think this is predictable, what the hell have you been watching? Vintage Black Panther footage? Blaxploitation cinema classics? I don't think I want to know. I do think you should be placed on some kind of watch list though-whatever you're watching that makes this seem predictable makes me think you're up to no good, sir.
2. "I'm actually surprised she's still somehow relevant."
Really? It must be pretty dark beneath that rock you've been living under. My fandom aside, Beyoncé is one of the biggest celebrities in the world. She released her last album with absolutely no promotion and it became the fastest selling album in iTunes history. That wasn't 10 years ago. That was like, yesterday. Not only is she simply relevant-she slays.
3. "If you hate on this song your probably white."
This is probably true in many cases, but I've seen numerous posts from black people about their disdain for Formation. Not every black person stands hand in hand in unity to support Queen B. Yes it angers me to see Rudy Giuliani, who should stick to what he knows, expressing his complete misunderstanding of the song, video, and performance on Fox News. It's annoying to see so many non-black people misinterpret the message and get offended. But not every hater is white. One cannot assume.
4. "Formation? She didn't go to college.
This song is racist. Steppin fetch it in a dress. Pig feet circuit music to pay her light bill and buy bleaching creme. Noble Drew Ali is turning in his grave.
She's like 200 years in consciousness behind the political movements of 1965. They were so cool and chic and Smart.
Stay in school. Education matters.
Fuck Beyonce and Jay Z let them enjoy hot wings and bbq ribs and negro sex on the beach."
Dude, whoa. B claims to be and like a lot of things in this song, but a literary intellectual isn't one of them. Whoever wrote this sounds like he has a lot of things to learn...about himself. To my knowledge, you can have an education and still like hot wings and ribs. Pig feet circuit music? Negro sex on the beach? This sounds like some racist shit, bruh. Speaking of 1965...
5. "what if this is the year beyoncé cheats on jay z? 2016, i'm ready!"
What part of this song talks about cheating? I'm confused. How does a celebration of black power and beauty equate to intent to cheat? And do you, dear internet troll, think you have a shot if she leaves Jay-Z? The odds are not in your favor. I don't understand how people think. I don't understand people. Period.
6. "She aint show the man of the house because he is a white french slave master who fucks all them lightskin negresses in that house. Creo."
The last time I checked, Jay Z was not a white French slave master. In fact, considering he's a rapper from Brooklyn, he's about as black as you can get. Please let go of your Confederate, slave-era sex fantasy. And lastly, the word is Creole.
7. "Fix your spelling mistakes—pay good money to hire a proof reader."
I'm not sure if he's addressing Beyoncé or the other commenters in this forum, but someone should tell him that proofreader is one word.
8. "The more you denie the illuminati the more i think you are actually in it
All the symbolisms in every video are there for no reason right ?"
Since when has the general public demonstrated such expert knowledge of the Illuminati? If anything, we should credit B and Jay-Z for increasing public awareness of this mystical, wealthy group. So we can all keep making money in an ethical way and not sacrifice our souls and loved ones to be successful. Because it's so possible that people are actually doing that to get famous...Please.
9. "Beyonce make my dick hard. That's all i care about."
He really understood the message behind Formation. He probably thinks the homage to the Black Panthers was some kind of kinky S&M get up. Moron.
10. "I'd rather see Katy Perry's titties perform again"
Um correction-you'd rather see Katy Perry's pitchy, poorly sung, afterschool kids' program disguised as a Super Bowl halftime show again. Why are these guys so obsessed with commenting about tits on comment boards? Celebrity ones on the tube (or in their favorite porns) are probably the only chance they have of seeing any. Sad life in the basement, dude.