Politicians always look so somber and defeated when announcing the suspension of their presidential campaigns. Even when it was totally obvious weeks ago that they should’ve given up, they naively keep pushing on only to drop out of the race after an embarrassingly awful defeat. I’m not on the Republican side of politics, but like many of you, I’m keeping a close eye on this election cycle. And I think the moment that ruined it all for Marco Rubio was the moment he started taunting Donald Trump about his dick size.
Many critics claim this was an example of Rubio stooping to Donald Trump’s level to try and woo away his supporters. On one hand, yes. Rubio tried Trump’s strategy of forgoing all talk about policy and specific change agents for shareable viral moments. And believe me, this moment went viral, baby. But what this moment really served as was a sad, failed attempt at the time-honored tradition of reading. For those who don’t know, let this wonderful clip from Ryan Murphy’s short-lived but semi-wonderful sitcom, The New Normal, explain it for you (please excuse Nene Leakes’ acting):
Yassss reading. When Rubio realized he probably didn’t have a shot in hell of winning, he pulled a page out of the drag playbook. But unfortunately, it was not only a poor application. It was the wrong crowd.
If he really wanted to insult Trump, he should’ve tied it back to policy. For example, I don’t understand Trump’s stance on immigration when his wife is practically a mail-order bride. Or we can’t put up a wall between the US and Mexico; who will he hire to build the next Trump building? If he wanted to cut him deep, he should’ve hit him where it hurts. As much as the supporters at Rubio’s rally may have laughed (uncomfortably), that moment was not a win for him. It was like watching a co-worker that you’re totally fond of fail miserably at their first stand up gig. Politics isn’t comedy. Reading, honey, has a place and time. And a political rally stage just isn’t it.
But on a more serious note, isn’t it a bit shameful that we’re even discussing this in relation to politics? That Rubio felt bullied and threatened enough by Trump to resort to sophomoric insults to win over voters? If that’s what he needed to do get more attention, then those weren’t the voters he needed to chase to begin with. Despite what this campaign cycle may indicate, there actually is an educated voter base out there that will respond positively to speeches about specific policy. You know, the ones where candidates use statistics, historical fact, and action points to convey how they will serve the country. We need more of that and less of all this bickering between grown-ass people.
Reading is an art. Reading is a respected defense mechanism that can be a great source of comedy and a mighty weapon when used correctly. Reading has no place on the campaign rally or debate stages. Leave the reading to your constituents and the blog comment boards. Let’s get back to talking about politics. It isn’t November yet. There’s still hope.