Uptown Bourgeois is an arts, news, and culture blog created by New York-based freelance writer Jefferey Spivey. UB explores universal themes through a black, queer lens. 

5 Uptown Bourgeois Posts I Know You Missed Last Week

5 Uptown Bourgeois Posts I Know You Missed Last Week

I don't know about you, but last week was a crazy one for me.  My freelance jobs have left me a lot less time to write for Uptown Bourgeois.  AND I released my first ebook, It's Okay If You Don't Read Everything.  Yes, I have a book out there that you can actually buy!  Not sure if any of you were aware, but selling a book is hard work.  Writing it was the easy part.  Trying to get it to stand out in a sea of millions of other books is quite the difficult task.  And speaking of getting my writing to stand out, it looks like you guys may have missed a few pieces last week.  Just sayin'-there's a few posts that I felt really proud of, but you must have been really busy re-watching LEMONADE or something.  Because I can't think of any other reason to have missed these essays.  But don't worry.  Like always, I've come to your rescue yet again.  Being the master curator that I am, I've assembled 5 posts that I know you'll love and (based on their low readership) I know you didn't read.  So all that's left is for you to finish off that bottle of wine on your kitchen counter, cozy up with your preferred device, and dive in.  Just don't get too drunk and fall asleep at 8pm.  Cause I actually want you to read these. Happy Monday!

Billy Eichner Is My Spirit Animal

Have you ever read all those quotes circulating on Pinterest about how awful difficult people are? They're all bullshit.  The most difficult people out there are some of the funniest and most entertaining to spend time with.  Whether they're running over legendary musicians in Manhattan or blaming everyone else for their failures, there's a little bit of them in all of us.

Zac Efron Is Your New Break Up Idol

While I'm sure he ranks high on your list of fitness idols at the moment (as he's kind of morphed into a living Ken doll), Zac Efron should also rank at the top of another list-as your break up idol. He just ditched his lady, and he did it in an awesome fashion that every guy could stand to learn from.

10 Questions Megyn Kelly Should Ask Donald Trump on 'Megyn Kelly Presents'

Kelly vs. Trump Round 2 is taking place in mid-May on her turf.  Here's hoping she asks about that nude painting that you can download for free. I'm dying to know if it's anatomically correct.

Smell Dating Will Help You Find A Partner With Your Dirty Laundry

Yep, you read that right.  Well, it's not like you have to sniff your way through a basket full of dirty jockstraps.  But you do have to sniff a few swatches of t-shirts soaked in 3-day old man musk.  Same thing.

No Fats No Fems Tee Is A Shady Attempt At Satire

The brand behind this tee is referring to it as satire.  I'm calling bullshit on that one.  Considering that this is a brand that sells briefs with 'BUSSY' splashed across the back, I'm taking a stab in the dark that satire isn't their thing.  They're capitalizing on ignorance to make a profit. Marek + Richard is like the Donald Trump of gay PRIDE clothing.

Zayn Steals The Met Gala Spotlight

Zayn Steals The Met Gala Spotlight

No Fats No Fems Tee Is A Shady Attempt At Satire