Uptown Bourgeois is an arts, news, and culture blog created by New York-based freelance writer Jefferey Spivey. UB explores universal themes through a black, queer lens. 

I See You Black Man

I See You Black Man

I See You Black Man

I saw you.

When you decided to stop shaving off your hair to look professional.  When your friends hadn’t seen you in three months and did a double take as you sat down for dinner, with a head full of hair they’d never seen before.  When you asked your barber to take half off the sides because you didn’t know how to style it.

I saw you.

When you took that selfie and hesitated to share it because you didn’t like the way your hair looked.  When you saw the first signs of breakage in the bathroom sink.  When you spent $50 on special creams, shampoos and conditioners because you’d read about them on hair blogs.

I saw you.

When you loaded up your scalp with Shea Moisture Curling Smoothie.  When you learned that Argan oil was a great way to seal in the moisture.  When you almost cried the first time you tried to detangle it.

I saw you.

When your tightly wound curls started to bounce.  When you looked in the mirror and saw a different person than you once were.  When your hair grew longer than your husband’s.  When you accepted your curls, and your naps became part of your identity.

I saw you.

When you could no longer imagine your reflection without that hair.  When you saw an old picture of yourself with a shaved head and barely recognized him.  When you could start saving money on haircuts because you only needed a shape up every three weeks.

I saw you.

When you felt uncomfortable wearing twists for the first time.  When you cringed upon reading a comment from one of your Facebook friends who questioned the style.  When you wondered if people saw you differently with this new look . 

I saw you.

When you made a private Pinterest board to collect possible hairstyles.  When you thought about cutting it all off after a year because it was too much to handle.  When you wondered if wearing cornrows would be “too black”.

I saw you.

When you started to understand your version of blackness.  When you let go of others’ expectations of how you should be black.  When pride started to moisturize your follicles and warm your heart.

And now, I see you, black man.  I see you.

There’s No Secret to Mastering Time Management

There’s No Secret to Mastering Time Management

One Year Later: Views on Black Natural Hair

One Year Later: Views on Black Natural Hair